


A new day shines, the storm has gone

by Shae_la_Hyene



Series: Hurt Capri fics named after MLP fansongs [6]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Character Death, Jumping off a bridge, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:47:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29013807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shae_la_Hyene/pseuds/Shae_la_Hyene
Summary: I came up from the dark without youAnd everyday has been in shadowI have begged the tide to wash away my sinAnd take me to you in the darkBut everyday I surface again.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Series: Hurt Capri fics named after MLP fansongs [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948678
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	A new day shines, the storm has gone

**Author's Note:**

> Whatever you think it is, it's worse.

Laurent was watching the fast waters of the river below him. For something that was supposed to be clear, it was dark and scary. Not seeing what was underneath was probably better.  
From where he was, against a metallic pillar, most people couldn’t see him, and no one did a double take so far. It was probably better too.  
Today was the day he’d die.  
Everybody died one day, and it was comforting for Laurent to know that it was him who chose how and when. Most people didn’t have that kind of control. His death would be his. No murderer to catch. No accident to weight on someone’s mind. No hospital worker trying to reanimate him. No ugliness as he’d die slowly from sickness.  
Just him, this bridge, and the water below.  
Laurent had taken his decision and now he was in peace. It’s comforting to know you won’t have to go through another day.  
He didn’t have much he’d miss or regret.  
He had loved Damen, he still did. But if everybody had to die, he knew he couldn’t handle living through his lover’s death. It was selfish, but Laurent wanted to die first.  
He could only hope Damen would forgive him.  
Life had been too hard, and he had gone through too much. Anybody else wouldn’t even be standing anymore, and he didn’t see why he should be. There was really no point.  
He’d never heal. It’d never get better. Just slowly worse and worse. Until death.  
This way, he could stop it from hurting more and more. He could stop this.  
“Don’t do this,” said a warm voice near him.  
Laurent jerked his head in surprise.  
“Damen,” he breathed. “How did… What are you doing here ?”  
Damen was walking toward him, slowly, as if not to spook him.  
His smile was sad when he said :  
“You jump, I jump, right ?”  
Laurent couldn’t help a little smile himself, shaking his head.  
“You should go, Damen. This isn’t your decision to make, and… I don’t want you to see it.”  
Damen chuckled.  
“Ah so if it’s like this… me staying isn’t your decision to make either. Or jumping right after you.”  
Laurent hummed.  
“Did you call the cops on me ?”  
Damen stayed silent for a moment.  
“No,” he said eventually. “Should I have ?”  
Laurent thought about it.  
“It wouldn’t have made much of a difference…” he whispered.  
Damen walked slowly until he was leaning next to him, his forearms on the railing.  
“I don’t want you to die,” Damen said simply.  
“I would guess so.”  
“Did I do something wrong ?” Damen said, turning a concerned gaze on Laurent.  
Laurent shrugged at this.  
“This… isn’t about you. Not really. I mean… I love you but. This isn’t because you did something wrong. It’s just… time.”  
Damen sighed, looking at the city around them.  
“I’m sorry you’re in pain, Laurent. I’m sorry everything had been so hard in your life. I wish I could erase it all, and make you happy. I wish you’d believe me when I say it’s gonna get better. But all I can really say is… I love you. I want a future with you. Any second I was blessed to spend with you filled me with joy, and yet I feel like I couldn’t get enough of it. I want you to live, with or without me. And find the happiness you so deserve. I can promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”  
Laurent turned his head away. He couldn’t look at Damen right then.  
When he spoke, it was around a ball of tears not spilling in his throat.  
“I’m sorry too, but… it couldn’t be enough. And this isn’t your fault. This isn’t… something you didn’t do or give me. It’s… me. I couldn’t give you everything you deserve. You love life. You deserve life with someone who wants to live, and have a future with you. You deserve everything.”  
He turned to Damen, then, pleading.  
“Please go,” he whispered.  
Damen shook his head.  
“I don’t want a future either, if you’re not here by my side. I love you, Laurent.”  
Laurent shook his head.  
“You wouldn’t jump after me. There would be no point, and you love life too much.”  
“I love you more.”  
“This isn’t how it works.”  
They stayed silent for a while, watching the water below, and the city buzzing with life in front of them, too busy to spare a thought to them. Behind them, cars were driving too fast or too slow, a deafening background, from a world too loud and overwhelming.  
“Did something prompted this ?” Damen asked softly.  
Laurent shook his head again, softly.  
“No. Not… really. It’s just. Time.”  
He looked at Damen.  
“You knew this would happen eventually. I never lied to you.”  
He looked at the waters again.  
“If you’d hoped I’d change my mind if you loved me enough… that’s on you.”  
Damen chuckled, a sad sound that Laurent didn’t want to hear.  
“I suppose it is,” Damen said.  
After another silence, Damen said.  
“We’re both good swimmers.”  
Laurent looked at him, overwhelmed by despair all at once.  
“Don’t say that. Please. You won’t jump and… You know I can’t go through another failed attempt. I need it to work. That’s why I chose that way. It’s… guaranteed. Don’t say… Don’t tell me it could fail. I can’t… handle it.”  
Damen was pleading too.  
“Then back up. Maybe it’s not time yet. Maybe it will be later, in a way that is more sure, more certain. Not now, not today, not this way.”  
Damen reached for him, his open palm a plea, an invitation.  
“Laurent, come back to this side, come back to me, we can have just a little bit of time, a little more happiness to add to your pile of memories, make it easier to say goodbye.”  
His eyes were filled with tears, now.  
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.”  
Laurent turned on his little platform of metal, facing Damen fully.  
Peace and calm were filling him, now, and just a spark of sadness. But it was okay. Damen wouldn’t die. He’d live, and one day he’d be happy again, when he’d leave Laurent behind him.  
“I love you,” Laurent whispered.  
Damen took a step, and another, closer.  
“No ! No, Laurent, don’t say that. Don’t say it like that, I know what you’re doing, and you can’t do it. You can’t tell me you love me and then die, you can’t do it…”  
Laurent let go of his hold on the railing, even as Damen rushed to him, his arms outstretched to get a hold of his hand, of anything.  
“Laurent ! No !”  
As he started to fall backward, Laurent kept his eyes on Damen, and that’s why he saw him when Damen climbed the railing and jumped, all in one smooth movement.  
No.  
That wasn’t the plan.  
Damen wasn’t supposed to jump too.  
It was only supposed to be Laurent who’d die that day.  
Damen loved life too much to die.  
The fall seemed to last forever, he had never fell for so long. But he had never fell from this high before either.  
But Damen was right, he was a good swimmer. He had will to live. He’d change his mind, and swim to the shore, and live. He had to. Or Laurent could never forgive himself, even in the afterlife.  
When he finally hit the surface of the water, it hurt like nothing had ever hurt before, and the rushing of the water replaced the rushing of the cars on the bridge.  
Did anyone even noticed they weren’t standing there anymore ?  
His body felt heavy, stiff. Moving felt like a feat.  
It was probably better. He didn’t want to swim. He didn’t want to live.  
He wanted to sink, slowly, and die before hitting the scary things hidden in the river.  
He should breath in water, it would be faster. Less painful.  
Eventually, he decided to do it. Breath in. Deep in the water, it wouldn’t be air that’d fill his lung, and that was what was meant to happen, in his plan.  
He had hoped the fall would kill him on its own, so he would have to settle for the second best.  
But his mind fought against him. Seeking oxygen was soon the only thought filling his mind, as instinct took over. He tried to shut those thoughts down. He wanted to die. Please, let him die.  
Following his instinct’s voice, his body kicked against what it thought was the bottom, scrambling to go up, to go toward the air and life.  
He pierced the surface, again.  
That one was not part of his plan.  
The current wasn’t as powerful, there, and everything felt too calm, too silent.  
Keeping himself afloat, his head above water, he looked around him, searching for Damen, for the only reason to live, the only one making life bearable.  
He needed him.  
If he had to live, he wanted, he needed Damen.  
Swimming harder, he spin on himself, waiting for a curly head to emerge from the surface, calling Damen's name.  
But he was alone.


End file.
